When the Walls Close In

When the walls close in we remember the days when the Lord split the sea for us and brought us out on dry land.

When I’m surrounded by uncertainties – in the form of people, places, things, finances – I remind myself that it’s time to look back over the “Red Sea Road” (just like the title of Ellie Holcomb’s soon-to-be-released album.) No, I don’t know how I fit here in this community. For most of them, I’m another face and they’ve seen a lot of visitors and students come through their midst. They may not know my history with our Beloved Jesus as much as I don’t know theirs, but He knows me.

He knows the sins He delivered me from when I was really, really young. He remembers a night of worship at that old youth conference, Acquire the Fire, that has since stopped running. I remember looking up to the high, high ceiling of that convention center, just twelve years old, and crying out for Him to deliver me from an addiction that I didn’t know how to get myself out of. I remember the moment when I felt it tangibly lift off of my shoulders and I was free from the compulsion to engage in that addiction ever again. I remember how He walked me through freedom day by day by day – and how committed He has shown Himself to be to process and time and seasons and holding my hand to walk me through every Valley.

He knows the hardships of my particular backstory and the family members and the friends I’ve walked with. He knows about the friends I lost because I wanted to follow Jesus in as radical a way as I knew how. He knows about love lost too. He knows.

He knows about all the songs I’ve sung in secret and the poems no one else has read. He knows what makes my heart sing and what makes my heart sad. He knows where I long to go with Him. He knows.

I’m kind of dangling now – suspended here in faith and really waiting to hear His voice – but I know He knows that. I comfort myself with the memory of all of His faithfulness towards me unto this very day. He will take me through every sea on dry land. He will part a way for me to come into His rest.

So I remind you, O my soul, to embrace and enjoy Your Maker. You don’t know the details of today or tomorrow. You aren’t known deeply by many. But He has known You deeply and He will take You by the hand. He will withhold no good thing from your soul. He will make you prosper in the hidden places of your heart. He will soothe you with the comfort of His fierce and endless love.

-Samantha

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